Gofkon
#0
En betjent standser en fyr for at køre for hurtigt.
Betjenten: Må jeg se dit kørekort?
Manden: Det har jeg ikke mere. Det blev frakendt, da jeg blev taget for
femte gang, for at køre bil under indflydelse.
Betjenten: Må jeg have lov til at se registreringspapirerne på denne bil?
Manden: Det er ikke min bil. Jeg har stjålet den.
Betjenten: Er bilen stjålet?
Manden: Det stemmer. Men nu jeg tænker mig om, tror jeg nok jeg så
registreringspapirerne i handskerummet, da jeg lagde min pistol derind.
Betjenten: Er der en pistol i handskerummet?!?
Manden: Ja. Jeg lagde den derind efter jeg havde skudt og dræbt kvinden som
ejede bilen her, også lagde jeg hende i bagagerummet.
Betjenten: Er der et lig i bagagerummet?!?
Manden: Ja, Hr.
Efter at have hørt dette, tilkaldte betjenten straks politichefen over
radioen. Bilen blev hurtigt omringet af patruljevogne, og politichefen gik
hen mod bilen for at håndtere den tilspidsede situation:
Politichefen: Hr. må jeg få lov at se dit kørekort?
Manden: Ja, selvfølgelig. Værsgo.
Det var gyldigt.
Politichefen: Hvis bil er dette?
Manden: Det er min. Her har du registreringspapirerne.
Mandens navn fremgik af papirerne.
Politichefen: Vil du langsomt åbne handskerummet, så jeg kan se om der er en
pistol derinde?
Manden: Ja, Hr. men det er der ikke.
Handskerummet indeholdt ingen pistol.
Politichefen: Vil du have noget imod at åbne bilens bagagerum? Jeg er blevet
oplyst om, at der befinder sig et lig deri.
Manden: Intet problem.
bagagerummet blev åbnet- intet lig.
Politichefen: Det forstår jeg ikke helt. Betjenten der stoppede dig har
sagt, at du fortalte ham at du ikke havde noget kørekort, at bilen var
stjålet, at du havde en pistol i handskerummet, og at der var en død kvinde
i bagagerummet.
Manden: Ja, det har han sikkert!
Og jeg vil vædde på at den løgnhals også har fortalt dig, at jeg har kørt
for stærkt!!
Bette
Betjenten: Må jeg se dit kørekort?
Manden: Det har jeg ikke mere. Det blev frakendt, da jeg blev taget for
femte gang, for at køre bil under indflydelse.
Betjenten: Må jeg have lov til at se registreringspapirerne på denne bil?
Manden: Det er ikke min bil. Jeg har stjålet den.
Betjenten: Er bilen stjålet?
Manden: Det stemmer. Men nu jeg tænker mig om, tror jeg nok jeg så
registreringspapirerne i handskerummet, da jeg lagde min pistol derind.
Betjenten: Er der en pistol i handskerummet?!?
Manden: Ja. Jeg lagde den derind efter jeg havde skudt og dræbt kvinden som
ejede bilen her, også lagde jeg hende i bagagerummet.
Betjenten: Er der et lig i bagagerummet?!?
Manden: Ja, Hr.
Efter at have hørt dette, tilkaldte betjenten straks politichefen over
radioen. Bilen blev hurtigt omringet af patruljevogne, og politichefen gik
hen mod bilen for at håndtere den tilspidsede situation:
Politichefen: Hr. må jeg få lov at se dit kørekort?
Manden: Ja, selvfølgelig. Værsgo.
Det var gyldigt.
Politichefen: Hvis bil er dette?
Manden: Det er min. Her har du registreringspapirerne.
Mandens navn fremgik af papirerne.
Politichefen: Vil du langsomt åbne handskerummet, så jeg kan se om der er en
pistol derinde?
Manden: Ja, Hr. men det er der ikke.
Handskerummet indeholdt ingen pistol.
Politichefen: Vil du have noget imod at åbne bilens bagagerum? Jeg er blevet
oplyst om, at der befinder sig et lig deri.
Manden: Intet problem.
bagagerummet blev åbnet- intet lig.
Politichefen: Det forstår jeg ikke helt. Betjenten der stoppede dig har
sagt, at du fortalte ham at du ikke havde noget kørekort, at bilen var
stjålet, at du havde en pistol i handskerummet, og at der var en død kvinde
i bagagerummet.
Manden: Ja, det har han sikkert!
Og jeg vil vædde på at den løgnhals også har fortalt dig, at jeg har kørt
for stærkt!!
Bette
#4
:e :e :e :e :e :e :e :e :e :e :e :e
#5
sidste gang jeg så den vits, var da en bekendt sendte den som en powerpoint fremvisning.
Den er såmænd ganske sjov :)
Den er såmænd ganske sjov :)
#6
# kan du ikke lige uploade den
#7
Hehe ikke ringe :D jeg fandt også lidt her, ved godt de er lidt gamle:
I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.
(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
*licks my finger and puts it on ur blouse* Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
Nice legs...what time do they open?
Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside the SuperMarket, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway the heaven?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Are those real?
You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
(Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
F @# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?
Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I like every bone in your body especially mine.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?
Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?
Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up.
If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays
If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
You're like a Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!
I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Baby, your so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out
Baby, I'd run a mile for your vertical smile. Nice shirt.... wanna fuck?
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Can I have fries with that shake!
I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.
You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.
Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?
Pardon my is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.
Do you know CPR because you take my breath away.
Your daddy must of been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.
My face is leaving in 15 minutes...be on it!
I'd look good on you.
When does your centerfold come out.
So do ya wanna see something really swell?
I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.
Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?
I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
Do you like Subway? How about my foot long?
Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.
Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd just love to tap that ass!
Are those pants from outer space? Cause that ass is out of this world.
You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
Is your dad a terrorist? Because your the bomb!
Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.
I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.
(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
*licks my finger and puts it on ur blouse* Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
Nice legs...what time do they open?
Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside the SuperMarket, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway the heaven?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Are those real?
You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
(Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
F @# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?
Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I like every bone in your body especially mine.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?
Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?
Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up.
If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays
If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
You're like a Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!
I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Baby, your so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out
Baby, I'd run a mile for your vertical smile. Nice shirt.... wanna fuck?
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Can I have fries with that shake!
I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.
You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.
Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?
Pardon my is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.
Do you know CPR because you take my breath away.
Your daddy must of been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.
My face is leaving in 15 minutes...be on it!
I'd look good on you.
When does your centerfold come out.
So do ya wanna see something really swell?
I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.
Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?
I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
Do you like Subway? How about my foot long?
Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.
Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd just love to tap that ass!
Are those pants from outer space? Cause that ass is out of this world.
You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
Is your dad a terrorist? Because your the bomb!
Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.
#8
Denne slår alt
If you were my homework i would do you right now on the table :i
If you were my homework i would do you right now on the table :i
#9
Tråden er låst til vi har løst spam problemet.